What are Communal Narcissists and How Can You Protect Yourself From Them?

Are you feeling drained after spending time with someone who seems to put their own needs above all else? If so, you may have encountered a communal narcissist. Communal narcissism is not a formally recognized diagnosis, but it refers to “grandiose, inflated perceptions of oneself within a communal environment.” People with communal narcissism often believe they have excellent social skills and high degrees of likeability and helpfulness. In reality, however, they are focused on meeting their own intrinsic needs and can be hypocritical in their behavior. If you want to learn more about communal narcissism, the signs to watch out for, and how to protect yourself, read on.

What Is Communal Narcissism?

Chris Barry, Ph.D., Professor for the Department of Psychology of Washington State University explains that communal narcissism is “being caught up in the idea of being special or outstanding in service to others.” It is “really grandiose displays of one’s communalism and promoting oneself as being more communal than others.” Examples of this could be “I am the best friend someone could have,” “I am the most helpful person I know,” and “I will be able to solve world poverty.” While people with communal narcissism may have good intentions, their excessive focus on self-promotion can be detrimental to the community and those around them.

Do Communal Narcissists Actually Care About Their Community?

Many people with narcissistic personality disorder have an increased sense of superiority and entitlement, as well as an inability to empathize. Therefore, even if they think they are serving their community well, their perceptions may be inherently distorted.

What Are The Signs of a Communal Narcissist?

People with communal narcissism typically value having profound, important roles in society. They often want to “fix” issues they see as needing to be fixed, and they experience immense validation from feeling like they make a meaningful difference. However, their laser-focused desire for such power can be unnerving and detrimental to others. Signs of communal narcissism may include extreme dedication to specific charities or causes, talking about having a mission or a calling, stirring excess drama or conflict at charitable or work-related events, coming across as a martyr, believing they are the best at something, and only seeming to show concern for societal needs in public.

Examples of Communal Narcissism

Communal narcissism may look different depending on the situation. However, some common examples include trying to do other’s tasks for them at work, trying to overstep their boundaries as volunteers, trying to teach others how to improve their sports skills, dishing out unsolicited advice in support groups, and trying to take on responsibilities without adequate training.

5 Ways to Deal With a Communal Narcissist

If you find yourself in a situation with a communal narcissist, it’s important to remember that you are never obligated to tolerate any abuse or disrespect. Here are five ways to handle a communal narcissist:

1. Don’t try to confront conflicting behavior. People with narcissism tend to become defensive and angry when given feedback, so it’s best to avoid saying anything at all.

2. Set firm boundaries. Communal narcissists are often oblivious to the needs of those around them, so it’s important to make your needs and expectations clear.

3. Avoid their need for validation. Communal narcissists often crave validation for their “good deeds” and will become frustrated when they don’t receive it.

4. Keep conversations focused on facts. Rather than debate with them, it’s better to stick to facts and avoid engaging in arguments.

5. Seek professional help. If you’re struggling with a communal narcissist in your life, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can help you better understand narcissistic personality disorder and find strategies to cope.

If you think you may have encountered a communal narcissist, it’s important to be aware of the signs and be prepared to protect yourself. Remember, you are not obligated to tolerate any form of abuse. With the right help and support, you can get through the situation.

References:

1. Barry, Chris. “What Is Communal Narcissism?” BetterHelp, 14 July 2021, www.betterhelp.com/advice/narcissism/what-is-communal-narcissism/.

2. “Psychological Egoism.” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Stanford University, plato.stanford.edu/entries/egoism-psychological/.

3. Johnson, Ryan E., et al. “The Communal Narcissism Inventory: Development, Validation, and Correlates.” Journal of Personality Assessment, vol. 97, no. 5, 2015, pp. 442–456., doi:10.1080/00223891.2015.1038139.

4. “What Is Communal Narcissism?” BetterHelp, 14 July 2021, www.betterhelp.com/advice/narcissism/what-is-communal-narcissism/.

5. Ibid.

6. “5 Ways to Deal With a Communal Narcissist.” BetterHelp, 14 July 2021, www.betterhelp.com/advice/narcissism/5-ways-to-deal-with-a-communal-narcissist/.